'Karen' Dishes Out Entitled Advice To Woman Who Coughs On Coffee Shop Employees

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abbyadler
Dec 20, 2021 7:00 PM EST

Guess who's back with the best weekly advice column in all fifty states? That's right - it's your local Karen spitting facts as per usual! Manager not meeting your demands? Neighborhood teenagers acting shady? Takeout food not made exactly the way you like it? No need to suffer any longer! Karen's here to tell you how to handle any nuisances that may come your way. She'll be having you living your best life in no time!

Want your question answered by Karen? Email dearkaren.cheezcake@gmail.com. 



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  • Eyelash - Dear Karen.. Last summer, Domino's in Australia and New Zealand ed offered free pizza to women named Karen. As a prominent Karen, I wondered if you have any intel on when Domino's will provide us free pizza here? l'm having a very difficult winter, and free pizza would help. -Karyn (pronounced Karen but with a Y) Where's the pizza!?
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  • Purple - Dear Karyn (pronounced Karen but with a Y), Thank you for bringing this to my attention. How dare they offer Australian 88 and Kiwi Karens the free pizza when the American Karens are the ones doing all the grunt work?
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  • Facial expression - After all, the name Karen gained celebrity status thanks to strong American women such as myself. You bet l'll be writing to Domino's CEO about this unacceptable delay. I'll keep you posted and get you the free pizza - Karen 88 you deserve.
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  • Happy - Dear Karen.. I have always felt at home at my local coffee shop - up until they started enforcing mask-wearing. The last time I was there, the manager told me I had to wear a mask. Naturally, I wasn't having it, and fake coughed on him in response, then proceeded to fake cough on all the employees. They threw me out. What do you suggest I do about - coffee shop Connoisseur getting coffee now?
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  • Organism - Dear Coffee Shop Connoisseur, I commend you for standing your ground against the manager and his army of employees. After all, you're a paying 88 customer - not to mention a regular - and the customer is always right.
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  • Organism - Now would be a good time to bestow your patronage 88 upon a different coffee shop. Don't forget to write to your local mayor about why the former coffee shop should be shut down immediately. Cheers! Karen
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  • Font - Dear Karen.. I attempted to return a handbag I purchased about ten years ago at Zara, but the manager told me that company policy is to accept returned items only after one year. I tried to explain to her that no one made me aware of company policy when I first purchased the handbag, but she still wouldn't accept it. What should I do? - Shopping Spree Sally
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  • Purple - Dear Shopping Spree Sally, Another day, another incompetent manager, huh? She clearly doesn't know what she's talking 88 about. You need to go back there immediately and ask to speak with the manager of the entire Zara...
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  • Facial expression - ...Not just the dumb girl who runs the handbag section. If the general 88 manager still won't allow you to return it, write a scathing review on all their social media platforms. That'll teach them. - Karen
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  • Purple - /// Any burning personal questions you would love to ask Karen? Email us at dearkaren.cheezcakeegmail.com A CHEEZCAKE FEATURE
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abbyadler good advice entitlement advice karen memes entitled bad advice dearkaren karen
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